I'm tired of your shenanigans, Dora!

Yeah, yeah...I said I'd update weekly, but what I really meant was whenever I feel like it. It's my blog, I do what I want...whateva, whateva, I do what I want!

Ahem. Sorry. SO! Anyone else sick of this snow over here in Delco? I sure am. It's preventing me from doing my usual housewife duties. (haha...doody). I'm stuck in the house,but I have to run errands. My baby is out of her formula, so for now I'm going to have to give her the back up stuff, which was a little rough on her belly when she was a few weeks old and adjusting to formula, but I'm hoping she'll take to it better now that she's a little bit older. Oh well, at least I can get some much needed laundry done today. Chase has barfed on just about everything she owns, so her hamper is filled to capacity. And I still didn't get my car fixed because Old Man Winter is being a douche and keeps pouring out snow. Can't we just put him in a home or something? Jeez.

In other news: So I fell asleep with the tv on, and when I awoke, it was to Dora the Explorer. My little sister (who is now 11) used to love Dora when she was a toddler. This show really grinds my gears. Whatever, it's a preschool show and is supposed to be cute and teach my baby how to be Mexican or Spanish or whatever she is, but it just annoys me. Sometimes I like to daydream my own version of Dora. Like, this kid is what? 4 years old, and she just ventures off into the unknown with her monkey friend Boots? Great parenting, Dora's parents! Dora drags Boots on all these little adventures, and her parents don't even care. Sure, go hang out with a Monkey who could possibly turn on you and rip your face off while climbing mountains and trying to jump across icy rivers that contain alligators. Sounds like a good time. I would love to see Boots turn on Dora one day.Think about it, she drags him on all these asinine adventures every single day, he's gotta be sick it by now.  It'd be like, "Come on Boots, we have to cross the icy river, climb the tallest mountain, and crawl through the creepy cave!" Then Boots just starts jumping around, making all these wild monkey noises, flinging shit everywhere, then when Dora goes to calm him down, he just pulls her face off and runs away. Monkeys can be dangerous, Dora. Maybe he doesn't wanna go on all your crazy adventures. Get the net, or you're gonna end up like this:

Fuuuuck that.

I'm sick of your shit, Dora!

Ok, so he's not modeled after a chimp, but I do picture him being modeled after the above monkey, and in which case, he still looks pretty ferocious. He may not be able to rip off a face, but he sure as hell can chomp into one.
And what about Swiper the Fox? If you see a fox in daylight, it's probably because it's rabid. You'll be worrying about a helluva lot more than Boots' swiped toy firetruck, Ms. Explorer. "Where are we going!? HOSPITAL! Where are we going!? HOSPITAL!"

Run Dora, Run!

Ahh, good ol' Nickelodeon and its shows about crazy, foreign kids. I sure hope Chase doesn't get into these silly shows. If she does, I will be sure to mock them endlessly in front of her so she learns not to buy in.
("Oh my God, what kind of mother are you? "You're so immature!" "She's a child who likes a child's show, she can think for herself!") Shut your facehole, Society. I was only joking. Of course my kid can like/watch whatever she wants. And I'm sure by the time she's old enough to get into these kiddie shows, there will be a new politically correct icon for her to admire. Let's see, we've got the Spanish child, the Chinese child (Ni Hao, Kai-Lan), and we've had the African American child (Little Bill). Now we need a show about a deaf kid white kid or a kid in a wheel chair. Yay, diversity! (Ever notice how the white kids in these PC shows are always the ones with deficits?) Hmmm...
Oh, boy...it seems I have gone off on a tangent. Oopsies. Well, the baby is crying, so that would be my cue.
Thanks for stoppin' by, and if I've offended you, then my goal for the day has been reached. Adios! :)
(see what I did there? With the Spanish? Nice).