Grumblegrumblegrumble

Ouchies

Well, last night was good times. Good times indeed. Normally my daughter is an amazing sleeper, but lately she's been teething, so it's really throwing her off mood-wise. For the most part, she's still her pleasant old self, but at the drop of a hat (whatever the hell that even means) she starts screaming her head off like she's in tremendous pain. (Which, I suppose she is, because teeth growing underneath of your gum line and stretching it while trying to poke through can't possibly feel good). One of the unfortunate side affects for teething in some cases is spitting up more than usual. Chase has been particularly fussy about eating this past week, and when she does take a bottle, she just gnaws on the nipple. (Good thing I stopped breastfeeding, eh?) Last night she fell asleep around 10:30pm and woke up to eat at 1:15am. I had fallen asleep at 11, so I was pretty effin' tired. She drank a few ounces, then wouldn't fall back to sleep in her bassinet, so I put her in bed with me. She sleeps best on her belly, which you're not really supposed to let them do at this age because of the SIDS risk, but I think it's fine so long as there's nothing around that can obstruct her breathing, and I tend to lie perfectly still when she's in bed with me, so I never roll on her. Anyway, I laid one of her blankets out next to me in bed and put her on her belly with a bink in her mouth. She slept great until 6am when she woke up screaming. She spit up on the blanket, and herself, so I got her up and changed her diaper and cleaned her off. No sooner had I wiped off her mouth and neck, she spit up again. I cleaned that up. Then we went back to lay down...she spit up again, only more this time. I rolled her onto her back...*barf*, I gave her a bink, *gag/barf*, I cleaned her up again, changed the blanket and laid her back down. She was fine for like, 20 minutes, so I figured her Linda Blair impression was over,

I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous.

but I spoke too soon...*barfbarfbarf...and also, barf* on the clean blanket I had just put down. UGH! I pulled the blanket up, and here, the lovely spit up fest of 2011 had soaked through her blanket onto the sheet on my bed. Ew. It was a big, wet, round splotch. It was 7am at this point, so I put Chase in her bassinet and just let her hang out in there till she spit up again, then fell back to sleep. Christ! It was a full hour and a half of that, and as soon as she fell back to sleep at 7:30, so did I. Of course she only let me sleep for an hour, because she got up for good at 8:30 this morning. I even had a dream that I was in high school again...what a nightmare that was. I got up, tired as all get out, and stripped my bed, and threw all the puke blankets in the wash. And so begins my day. Laundry, dishes, mopping the floor despite the fact that's it pointless because my army of small dogs constantly leave their muddy paw prints all over the place. I also need to straighten up this place because my sister is spending the night and my friends are coming over tomorrow for the entire day.
So much for taking it easy on a Friday.

In other news, have you seen this lovely product that they're advertising on tv?

Yeah, because I totes wanna smell like a porn star. You might as well just take me down to South Street and let me rub against a prostitute. I'm sure this fragrance smells just delightful, and I bet every 16 year old girl will be out spending their babysitting money on this because Playboy bunnies are totally rad. I want my Playboy Bunny lunchbox!
Ok, well it's been real, but Chase just sneezed and spit up flew out of her mouth along with some snot on my arm. Kid's like a friggin' Garbage Pail Kid.

Peace, Love, and Spit Up Rags.