le Sigh

I am quickly approaching my 1 year anniversary of being a housewife/stay at home mom, and I have finally realized how much this job sucks. I guess EVERY job sucks in one way or another, but I had this epiphany today about just how mundane my life seems any more. Every Monday I wake up around 8 or 9am, change Chase's diaper, give her a bottle, take her downstairs and feed her her breakfast. After she is content and playing on the floor, I eat my own breakfast. I see what's up in the world o' Facebook, then I get started on housework. I normally start with the kitchen...dishes, wiping down counters, a quick Swiffer job over the floor, then I straighten up the living room. That takes me to lunch time, so I get Chase her lunch, grab something for myself, we eat, we get cleaned up, Chase has a bottle, goes down for a nap, then I let the dogs out, take some clutter from the living room upstairs where it belongs, put clean laundry away, do a craft of some type...and by this point, Chase usually wakes up because some how 1-2 hours have elapsed. Chase will get another bottle if she's fussing for one, I let the dogs out again, but by now there's normally a puddle of pee or some remnants of shit from one of the dogs, so I clean that up/swiffer/lysol the area. Then I will play with the baby on the floor, do her "baby exercises" with her, keep her entertained then I realize it's about dinner time, so I get something started on the stove for Mark, get Chase situated in her seat for her own dinner, then wake Mark up for his dinner. I make something for myself (because I am on a diet, so I eat different food than what I make for Mark). He and I will hang out for a little while, watch our shows, then it's time for him to get ready for work. I get Chase and myself ready for bed, and depending whether or not she had a bath the night prior, Chase will have a bath around 9:30pm, then we're both in bed by 10. I read her a story, she has a bottle and drifts off to dreamland, I lie awake and read a book, then I go to sleep. Tuesday morning I wake up and pretty much do the same song and dance all over again. Wednesday is my "fun day", in the sense that I have a 12pm appointment with my weight loss consultant (who also happens to be a friend, so I am comfortable going to her), I take Chase with me because Mark is sleeping by this point, I get my weigh-in, my food for the week, then Chase and I head to the grocery store to do some shopping. An hour to an hour and a half later, we head home, I situate her with a bottle, put the food away, then it's time to eat a late lunch. After that, if I don't go visit my mom, I do some more chores, let out the dogs, make dinner, wake up Mark, eat, hang out for a bit, Mark leaves for work, Chase and I go to bed.

Do you see where I am going with this? Once in a while I get a day with a friend who is off from work, or I go hang with my mom, but for the most part, I am reliving the same day over and over and over again.
I just feel like I need a change. A vacation. Something exciting. I applied for 4 jobs so far, and interviewed for one. Now it's just a waiting game. I find out if I'm in the top 3 candidates for the first job I applied for by April 20th. The other 3 jobs, I have to wait and see if I am even contacted for an interview. Fingers crossed. I get out to the gym during the week at least twice, and I get to see a friend here and there during the day to go to lunch or whatever, and I'm grateful for that, but...I guess it's just not enough. I want to get away from this house, if only for a few days. You know what happened tonight? I came home from my mom's house, let all the dogs out...Chase was napping, so I straightened up a little. I decided to be nice and pack Mark a lunch, so I went out to the garage to grab him a bottle of water for his lunchbox...what happens as I'm crossing from the kitchen to the laundry room? I slip in f-ing pee! Then I realized there was a LAKE from the laundry room, crossing over into the kitchen. Uuuuugh. That was fun to clean up. I honestly don't know how much more I can take. Every day is the same, every day there is a disgusting floor to mop, a pile of dishes to wash, people to take care of, dogs to take care of...but what about me? I know, I know...I'm a mom, a wife, and "stay at home" is attached to both of those titles...but I barely get a chance to do things for ME any more. Any time I shop, it's for groceries or baby necessities...or even pet necessities!! You know when I shower? When I realize that I'm starting to stink and my last shower was probably 3 days prior. You know when I straighten my hair? How about next to never! I have mastered putting on makeup in under 5 minutes. This is exactly why I am dieting, so I can get myself back. I miss me. I understand that when you become a wife and a mother you put yourself last, but I feel that us moms need SOME time to ourselves so we don't go completely insane. Right? Is it wrong to want me time? Is it wrong that I wish I could snap my fingers and be in the Bahamas all by myself? A girl can dream, I guess. Well, at least Mark and I are going on a date tomorrow. We're going to see Scream 4...of course we're going in the afternoon because my mom is watching Chase for us, but it will be fun nonetheless. The rest of this weekend will filled with cleaning, hopefully relaxing a little bit, and celebrating Mark's birthday....

Well, till next time, friends.

Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.