AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Let me tell you about how fantastic things are going right now. For starters, my car is FINALLY getting fixed, and I was so excited about having a rental car to drive...but the auto body shop gave me frickin' Ecto 1 to drive. What the hell? The damn thing looks like a hearse. I hate it! What's the fun in driving a rental car when it looks like I'm transporting dead bodies?

Bustin' makes me feel good...

Ok, so I guess the rental car thing isn't so bad...I just hoped for something more fun/less ugly to drive. Aside from that, I found out a very good friend of mine is in the hospital. I'm so worried about her, I just want her to be ok. She's not sure how long she has to stay in there, so I sent her a basket of stuff to help keep her distracted/occupied. I'm not going to go into detail here about what's wrong with her, but I will say that had it not been addressed in time, it could have been very, very bad. Fatal, even. I never want to hear the word "fatal" in the same sentence as one of my friend's names. Especially when it's such a good friend as she is to me. I am hoping to go visit her one of these days, but it's hard to with the baby and the husband's schedule. Since he works the night shift, he sleeps most of the day/evening. I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to bring babies to visit people in the hospital, but if you are, I'd rather not because I want to focus my attention on my sick friend, ya know? I want to be able to talk with her and maybe even play a game or something with her and not have to worry about keeping the baby content. I sent the basket of get well stuff in with her boyfriend, who is also a very good friend of mine, so at least I was able to get that to her. I just really want her to get better!! :( Too many people are getting sick lately. Not good times.

Sigh. Ok, let's change the subject to something slightly less depressing. This morning around 3:30am, my LO (remember, that stands for little one) woke up for a bottle and a diaper change. 3:30 is usually her time to wake up, so I was ready to meet her needs. However, while I was feeding her she took a massive crap in her diaper, and she wreaked ungodly bad. She's only 3 months old, but this is the first time she has ever smelled THIS disgusting, and I'm sure it won't be the last. I imagine that this is what the Bog of Eternal Stench from Labyrinth smells like. Or Dowistrepla. (For those who don't know, there was an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Lily and Marshall get an apartment in a town called Dowistrepla, then later find out that the town's name is an acronym for Down Wind Of the Sewage Treatment Plant, which is why the town smells so awful at times). Well, not only did this diaper wreak to high heaven, but the poo went up her back a little and soaked through her onesie and pajamas.



You said it, horrible actor from Troll 2. So I got her all cleaned up and situated to go back to sleep. I spread out her blanket in my bed, put her on her belly on top of it, and tucked her in. I was like, ok, niiight. Wait...what the? Is that? Is that...pee? Yep. A big, round wet spot of dog urine. In my bed. I was like, great, now I need to wash this sheet. But it didn't stop there...not only was the sheet wet, but the comforter, a pillow, and the mattress sheet were all soaked through.

I know, right!? I had to get the baby out of the bed, put her back in her bassinet and strip my bed entirely. I put the wiener dogs in their crates because at that point, I wasn't sure if it was Milo or Lady who had committed such a treacherous act. At this point, it was about 4:30am. I was tired at all get out, and the last thing I wanted to do while half asleep was laundry and soaking up pee from my mattress. I threw the stuff in the wash, sprayed the mattress with some pet scotch guard, and blotted up the pee the best I could. All I wanted was to go back to sleep, but the area was still not dry. I decided to just put a towel over it then put a clean sheet down over top. This worked out fine, so I got a clean comforter and went back to bed. Except since I was so pissed off and moving around a lot, I was wide awake. It took me a while to finally fall back to sleep after sending angry texts to the husband. I then put the pieces together and figured out it was in fact Lady, who is SUPPOSED to be our best dog out of the 4, who pissed the bed. I knew it was her because she had been laying in that spot for most of the night, while Milo was either on my legs or pressed up against my side. When we first went to bed, Lady was propped up on the pillow that was also urine soaked (I trashed that bad boy immediately) so she must have peed in her sleep. We have had issues with dogs wetting the bed in the past, but they were also a lot younger, and none of them have done this in years. Lady is 6 years old, one would think she has moved past bed wetting. Lesson learned about continuing to allow dogs to sleep in bed. :/
So yeah, that was a lovely morning. Chase woke up not even an hour after I fell back to sleep, so I put her on my chest around 6:30am, and luckily she passed right back out. Mark came home after 7 this morning and took over with the baby so I could sleep in. I got up around 10:30, but I'm still exhausted since my sleep was so incredibly broken. It would figure that because Chase slept well, that something else had to interfere with my sleep. She's napping now, and I'm not sure how much longer she will stay down, but I better end this post now because there's a lot to do around here. I am a bridesmaid in a wedding come November, and tonight I have to go look at dresses with the bride-to-be and the other girls in the wedding. Family is coming to visit us tomorrow as well, so this house needs to stop looking like a scene from Hoarders. So much time, so little to do. Wait...strike that, reverse it. Thank you.

Maybe I will just blog about it

Oi Vey, this week has been full of some major BS. For starters, someone tried to start something with me on the internet about something I said that was evidently offensive. Whatever, if you're offended by what I say, don't read my stuff. Simple as that. Then they went on to send me a nasty private message after I sent an apology. I guess my apology didn't sound sincere enough for their liking because they said some pretty mean things to me, but of course they said it in private so that nobody else could see and attack them on my behalf. I actually found the whole thing extremely amusing because it was so uncalled for that it was funny. I actually did send the private message to a few people so they could see what this person had the gall to say to me, and they thought it was equally uncalled for. This person kept bringing up my blog for some odd reason, and kept saying things like, "Maybe I'll blog about it." They also QUOTED my first blog entry, only they tweaked the words slightly to aim it at me, making it an insult. The fact that this person used a quote from my blog entry tells me that they have read my stuff after they emphasized repeatedly how everything I say is "garbage" and I constantly insult people. (Ok!) and blah blah blahdee blah blah. If what I say is garbage and you hate everything I post, why the fuck fuckity fuck fuck are you wasting your time and energy reading it, anyway? Hmmm? Ahh, I love people who contradict themselves and cause unnecessary arguments and drama. Oh, oh...the best part? This person called me dumb and ignorant, and implied that me and my friends are all spoiled rich kids. BAHAHAHAHA clearly they never met my friends or saw the house I grew up in. (It's not a bad house at all, just small and in a modest, small neighborhood, and my parents aren't exactly doctors or lawyers.) When my sister was born, I had to move my bedroom to the BASEMENT because the house is only 2 bedrooms. Ok? Seriously. This person said horrible things to me for no reason, and is like, 8 years older than I am!

I know, Stewie! That's what I said. And I'm the immature one? They also said I don't really know what it's like to be a housewife, but this person is neither a wife nor unemployed. Discuss.
Anyway, enough about this petty crap. It's mega lame, but they mentioned blogging about it, so here ya go. Cheers!
Moving on to more important things. I haven't been able to get much done this week because the baby is starting to stay awake longer throughout the day. She's had some pretty fussy mornings as well, so it has been very difficult to put her down without having her scream her head off. I'm not trying to complain, really, because I love my baby and this is what motherhood is all about. It's just becoming more difficult to keep up with the house on some days. I suppose it will all get done eventually, but I'm using March 5th as a deadline for some of the major things around here because we are hosting a party, and we need to make space for guests to spend the night. No drinking and driving on my watch! Not only that, but it is more of a motivation device since these things need to be taken care of anyway. The sooner, the better. We'll see if it actually happens, though.
Oh, for the record...I am not "complaining about how hard I have it" (guess who said that to me?) because I don't have it hard. At all. I love my life, it's freakin' awesome. I'm simply blogging from a REAL housewife's perspective. We all do things differently, but in general, we're all nagged for the same reasons, we have lots of things to do/take care of, and we're all under appreciated at times without receiving proper credit for the things we do. Come on, now. Some of us have wonderful lives and enjoy doing what we do, while others would love to be working. I'm somewhere between. I'm mostly doing this for my daughter. I was given a rare opportunity to be home with my baby, so I took it. What's wrong with that? I'm not trying to brag about it. Some days I do wish I was putting my degree to good use, but other days I wouldn't trade this for the world. It has it's ups and downs, but really, what in life doesn't? This is the path I have chosen, and I can change the course at any time. The point of this blog is to share my experiences (and I have said this before, but some people still just aren't understanding). This is the last time I'm explaining it. It's for fellow stay at home moms/housewives to relate to, and for my friends to read if they so desire. Sometimes my entries will be serious, sometimes they'll be amusing, and sometimes they'll simply be complaints about the world around me. There's a reason for the "warning" prior to entering my blog page. I've said it before, and I will say it a thousand more times if necessary:
If you don't like what I have to say, don't read my posts, you're only wasting your own time! Don't be stupid. As always, thanks for stopping by. I will do my best to update more often, but as I said, I HAVE A LIFE and I've been pretty busy as of late.

Oh, hello.

I have to admit, I've been slacking on this blogging business. I probably would have let another whole week go by if an old friend of mine hadn't mentioned this to me today. I know you all would have been devastated. We can't have that now, can we?
I have been quite the cliche housewife this week, but I promise, it's not all my fault. My LO (that's an abbreviation for "little one", as in my kid, for all of those who are not hip to internet lingo) has been very clingy this past week. She's been all like, "Waaah, I need a bottle. Waaah, I need a clean diaper. Waaah! I want my mommy!" Jeez, what does she think she is? A baby or something? Sheesh.
So, while I've been fulfilling the mommyhood aspect of being a housewife, I've been watching Prison Break on Netflix. Talk about addicting! I can't stop watching this show. It just keeps me on edge, and let's be honest, the eyecandy ain't bad, either. Instead of cleaning and whatnot during baby's nap time, I've been watching episode after episode while remaining in my pajamas all hours of the day. OH SNAP! Dude just put a gun to Scolfield's head and tied him to a chair! But OH SNAP! Fernando came to the rescue. Man, that was close.
What was I saying? Oh, so me as a housewife this week= fail. I got a sink full of dishes from last night, the Foreman grill needs to be wiped down, laundry has to be done, floor has to be mopped, bathrooms have to be cleaned, I have to go food shopping like a boss, and guess what? Those rooms I said I was going to try to clear out by March 5th...still completely cluttered and time is just ticking by. Oops.
On a more positive note, I joined the local gym. Baby weight has been dropping like a mofo. I lost 30lbs in 2 1/2 months. Diet and exercising regularly. Who knew? Pretty soon, I'll be back to my old "hot" self, and maybe even become classified as a MILF! What up!
Anywho, The baby is napping right now...I should probably make myself productive. Just as soon as this episode of Prison Break is over. I swear. Oh, and I am getting dressed today. Really, I am.
I promise I will post a more interesting blog later. I'm sure I'll have more gripes about society. OH, SERIOUSLY! They're just gonna end this episode like that? Come on, Prison Break. I have stuff to do! Maybe just...one...more...episode...?

Just call me, "The Queen of Vomit."

Well, today is kind of a busy day. I just cleaned my bedroom and the whole downstairs of the house. My husband took my daughter to her doctor's appointment this morning so that I could stay here and get things done. She's not sick or anything, just needs the 2nd dose of a vaccine, but luckily it's an oral one and not an injection. I'm also in the process of doing laundry, and I just finished the mega pile of dishes that were in the sink. As I was wiping down the counter tops, my dog Milo decided to barf all over the floor...and my right slipper. Sigh. Not only do I have to deal with baby barf every day of my life, now the dogs are adding to it. I think he threw up because he was licking gross dish water that was forming on the inside of the dishwasher door as I was loading the dishes. I kept shoeing him away, but you know dogs. They're always right under your feet, and sometimes they just don't listen. Especially Milo. He's a great dog, but can be really dumb at times. He's kind of...how should I put this...Well, he's kind of like this guy:


Anyway, you get the idea. So now I have to add vomit-covered-slippers to my piles of laundry, but I don't really want to wash them with any of my other stuff. The idea of puke chunks swirling around the washing machine with other clothes is pretty gross. I should probably keep this blog post short today. Chase and I are going out with a good friend of mine and her baby boy for a "baby date" this afternoon. I have to finish my Cinderella chores and get myself looking human again. Oh this wonderful life o'mine. =)

I hear ya, girlfriend. Only you have mice to help you clean...so stop your bitchin'!