"...what's my age again?"

I've been lacking in sleep lately due to the fact that I have the most random trains of thought these days. For the past few nights, I have been thinking about how much my generation differs from the previous one, and how people my age (including myself) just cling onto their youth/childhood as much as humanly possible.



I'm talking about how, for example, if you watch movies/t.v shows from the early 90s, you often see college students depicted as intellectual, mature, refined individuals. As a kid, I always had in my head that the college students on t.v., who were supposed to be 19-21 years old but dressed/acted like they were 40, were the real deal, and that someday when I was in college, that's how life would be. You know, wearing a sweet, oversize sweater with khaki pants, glasses on the tip of my nose, hair pulled back in a braid, sitting around sipping on Cappuccino while discussing the works of (insert great poet or novelist here, who only writes the most complex pieces that nobody truly understands, but pretend to so they can develop pretentious theories just to hear themselves speak).  In reality, college (for me) was all about making the good grades in order to graduate with a degree to get a decent enough job to make  living, and having as many parties as possible in between. The things I discussed with my college friends were movies, music, current t.v. shows and what time we were all meeting at the bar to dance and drink our faces off on "Thirsty Thursdays." I wore band t-shirts and screen tees and owned converse sneakers in every color of the rainbow, and I listened to nothing but Coheed and Cambria, NFG, Dashboard Confessional, Taking Back Sunday, and any other underground, or not-so-underground, but also not-so-well-known punk, emo, etc. bands. The difference between high school Laura and college Laura? Um...I stopped living at home at the age of 19 and that's about it. I didn't change, and I'm still not that different. I still wear those converse sneakers, I still wear those band/screen tees, I STILL shop in the Juniors section at Boscov's and other stores, and I still watch kiddie shows, movies, teen melodramas, and I am an extreme sucker for anything Disney related. I buy stuffed animals and dolls for MYSELF (but like, not in a creepy/sad way like on Hoarders), and I named my first born child after a character in the Coheed and Cambria storyline. If that's not clinging to my youth, I don't know what is. I'm 25 going on 17 half of the time, and as much as I am INLOVE with my daughter, I completely admit that on the nights when my mom offers to take Chase overnight so Mark and I can do whatever (movies, concerts, parties...) I feel so carefree and I try to act as childish as I can. I am a damn good mom, or at least I think/hope that I am, and I do everything for my daughter. I am responsible and mature when I NEED to be, and I can get my priorities straight when necessary, but for the most part, all I want to do is hang on to that kid in me for as long as I can. I know for a fact that  I'm so NOT alone in this. I have friends who won't get married or have a baby in their 20s...like, flat out REFUSE to settle down because they're just not finished being young at heart yet.  I have friends who are closer to 30 than I am, but who still live at home with their parents, and guess what? This day in age, that is 100% acceptable!! Years ago if a guy told a girl he was on a date with that he lived at home with his parents, she would have scoffed and said, "See ya later, loser." But today, if a guy says, "I still live at home," the girl's reply will most likely be, "Cool, so do I." What is it with my generation? Were we babied too much by our parents? Is that why we have a hard time accepting the fact the 90s are over? Why do a majority of us still blare Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls when their songs pop up on a mix? When will I ever be too old for t-shirts that say things like, "Warning, Pandas Are Bears"? Or how about a few weekends ago when Mark and I sent Chase to my mom's for the night so we, our friends, and my cousin could go to Dave&Busters to play games all night long...We spent the whole night racking up tickets so we could get prizes like we were 8! You know what I got as a prize? Papa fucking Smurf and some laffy taffys, and I considered it a victory. Mark will be 30 in April, and he still likes to be left alone with his videogames, just like when he was 13. A lot of guys are like that...it's just our generation. My mom tells me all these stories about her teen years and all the fun/goofy things she did with her friends, but she stopped doing those things when she was like, 23. I think she forgets what "fun" is sometimes. She's content with staying in and watching horror movies on demand...but I always need more than that. My parents don't really have friends any more, but Mark and I do and we're trying to keep them till the day we die. I'm always making plans with people, always ready to go out and have fun, and I think that's partially the reason why (and this is totes gonna make me sound like a bad mom/selfish to you) Mark and I keep thinking about keeping Chase as an only child. I can't make up my mind about this decision, but it's like, I have a very small amount of friends who have grown up entirely and want a ton of kids...these people just seemed so tied down to me. I'm not ready for that right now. I love being a mom,I really do, but being a mom to 1 gives me the best of both worlds. You see, I get to be the best mom I can be, and I still get to cling to my childhood a little. It's like I'm straddling a boarder between 2 states. One foot is on the Mom/wife/homeowner/responsibleworkingadult side, while the other is on the Friend/fun/silly/childish/let'shavean80sthemedparty side. A friend of mine actually texted me this morning letting me know when she is having her Halloween party this year. She and I are both REALLY in to Halloween, and we also share the same friends, so we check with one another each year to make sure we don't have our parties on the same night. I couldn't believe she texted me about it because just last night, during my random train of thought, I was thinking which weekend would be best to have the Halloween party. See, Mark and I are making a comeback this year because last Halloween I was 9 months pregnant, so having a party was completely out of the question (see, responsible...sometimes). Halloween is usually our biggest/best party, and that's something we don't want to ever give up. Maybe some day we will incorporate everyone's kids as well, but I only have 3 or 4 close friends who have/are having babies and are married, and my group of best friends are all single which is why we can ALWAYS make fun plans, while my other acquaintances are still going to bars every weekend, seeing our favorite bands in concert on week nights, and just all around living life to the fullest. So you can see why I'm kind of in and out of these 2 "states," and I don't mind hanging out in this limbo for a while.
Anyway, there's a lot to be said about this generation, and who knows the real reason why we are the way we are. It will be interesting to see how Chase's generation turns out with parents like all of us. I can pretty much guarantee that I'll be the 50-something year old mom with converse on her feet, Coheed in her ears, and highlights in her hair. Let's just hope I don't look 50 when I'm 50...

A Few Recipes

So, I don't really have anything exciting or interesting to write about today, so I figured I'd post some of my favorite recipes for those of you who enjoy cooking. These recipes are pretty easy. Some of them are my own creations, others are recipes that have been borrowed or altered from the internet. Enjoy!

Laura's Twisted 5 Cheese and Mac: (my recipe...obviously)

1 C milk (I prefer to use skim, to semi- help reduce the calories in this dish)
2 TBSP Butter (or margarine)
2 TBSP Garlic/Basil blend (McCormick sells this)
3 C shredded cheddar cheese (any brand will do, but I prefer Cracker Barrel)
2 C white cheddar shredded cheese
2 C of three a three cheese blend (shredded)
1 cup seasoned bread crumbs
1 Box of your favorite twisted pasta (I use Cavatappi pasta)

In a large pot,cook pasta according to package instructions. Drain, and set aside.
In a large pot, bring milk, butter, and garlic/basil to a slight boil. Keep heat at medium-high, and gradually stir in the different types of cheese. Whisk until cheese is completely melted and reaches a creamy texture. Turn heat back to low, and stir in pasta. Make sure pasta is entirely coated with cheese, then transport to a 9X13 baking pan. Sprinkle with breadcrumbs,bake at 350 for 35 mins., and enjoy!!


Herb and Citrus Roast Chicken (my recipe)

1 roasting chicken (thawed)
2 oranges
1 lemon
1 container frozen orange juice (from concentrate)...thawed
1 TBSP Rosemary
2 cloves garlic (pressed)
1/2 tbsp pepper
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 C Chicken Stock
1 TBSP Parsley
1/2 tsp paprika

Preheat oven to 425. Cut oranges and lemons into 4ths.
Set chicken aside in a baking pan (I use my 13X9 for this). Rub down with salt and pepper, and paprika. In a blender, blend together orange juice, parsley, and garlic. Squeeze in juice from half of an orange, and half of a lemon. Brush mixture onto chicken, and sprinkle with rosemary. Add chicken stock to the pan. Stuff chicken with lemon and orange slices. Let chicken cook in oven for 2-3 hours until golden-brown, basting every 40 mins. or so to keep moist. Add more stock to the pan if necessary.

Garlic and Balsamic Green Beans (my recipe)
1 package Quick & Easy fresh green beans  (or just regular fresh cut green beans from your super market...I prefer the Quick&Easy version because it's...well...hence the name, ya know?)
1 clove of garlic (pressed)
2 TBSP Butter or Margarine
1-2 TBSP Balsamic Vinaigrette dressing

Cook green beans according to package instructions (or steam till desired tenderness, if not using the packaged green beans)
In a medium sized skillet, melt butter over medium-low heat, and add garlic. Let garlic saute for 2-3 minutes in melted butter.  Add green beans and toss with the garlic and butter until beans are coated. Remove from heat, and transfer to a serving dish. Drizzle balsamic dressing over beans, serve, and enjoy!

"Grandma Gracie's Lemon Cake" (Gooseberry Patch, Homestyle Cooking cookbook)
1 pkg. yellow cake mix
1 pkg. instant lemon pudding mix
3/4 c oil
3/4 c water
4 eggs, beaten
 Combine all ingredients, mix well. Pour into greased 13X9 baking pan. Bake at 350 for 35-40 mins. Immediately poke holes through cake w/a fork, pour glaze over cake, and garnish w/powdered sugar. (10-12 servings)
Glaze:
2 c powdered sugar
2 T butter
2 T water
1/3 c lemon juice
Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl



Chocolate Banana Cupcakes (altered from the lemon cake recipe)
1 pkg. chocolate cake mix
1 pkg. banana instant pudding mix
3/4 c oil
3/4 c water
4 eggs, beaten.

Combine all ingredients, mix well. Pour into lined cupcake pan, bake until toothpick comes out clean (or 35 mins.-40 mins)

Glaze:
2 c powdered sugar
2 T melted butter
2 T water
1 T Vanilla
Blend all ingredients, brush over cupcakes, then garnish with powdered sugar.

Soo...that's all I'm going to post for now. I have a lot more up my sleeve, perhaps I will share more at a later date. Happy cooking.

"it's been a while since I..." something something something

Title=that Staind song. Remember that one? It popped into my head because I was thinking it's been a while since I last blogged, but I can never remember the whiny lyrics of Aaron Lewis. "It's been a while since I could look at myself straight, and it's been a while since I"...did stuff and some other words.
Well, we took our first family vacation. We went from June 17th-23rd to Rehoboth Beach. Packing for an infant sucks! We had to bring her stroller, pack n'play, enough clothes for 6 days (which is a lot, because babies may need a wardrobe change at any given moment from spit up, leaking diapers, and just general messiness). We also had to bring along plenty of jarred food and formula. I drive a little toyota corolla, so packing all of the baby's stuff, plus our suitcases was a bitch. Coming home was even worse because we bought a bunch of stuff at the outlets, and we gave my cousin a ride back with us.(His family has a condo in Rehoboth, so they were there visiting as well). We somehow managed to squeeze everything into the trunk and tucked some things behind the passenger seat so that my cousin could sit semi-comfortably in the backseat.
But anyway, the vacation was much needed and it was a lot of fun. We went swimming, relaxed on the beach, spent a day at the waterpark, did some shopping, ate at some awesome restaurants, went on rides, played games (and won a ton of unnecessary prizes, including a giant stuffed gorilla!), walked the boards, and spent quality time with family. It was awesome, and despite the insane amount of stuff you need to bring for an infant, the trip was well worth it and I can't wait till our next trip. I'm actually saving up for Disney World. My uncle owns a house 4 miles from the parks, and he says family can stay there any time, but I want the FULL Disney World experience. I want to stay in a fancy hotel within the park, so we don't have to drive any where. I am on this insane Disney kick lately, where I can't seem to stay out of the Disney store and keep buying all these collectible things that i have no real use for, and really have nowhere to put them! I get into these weird Disney phases every few years, and I suppose now that i have a child, the whole "kid at heart" notion is coming back into full swing. I just want to give her everything, and since I have never been to Disney world, I thought it would be nice to experience it together, even though she probably won't recall this since we'll most likely be going before she even turns 2. That's my goal, anyway. I want to go during the winter months. I never understand why people visit Florida in the Summer months. It's way too damn hot down there. I've been to Florida in May, and it was scorching then. I can't imagine what it's like in June-August. I want to go when the weather is warm enough to go swimming, but not so hot that waiting in line for rides makes me feel like I'm going to burst into flames.
In other news, one of my good friends is moving to California next week, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'm happy for him because he's doing what none of my other friends (nor I) have the courage to do, and that's following his REAL dream. If he doesn't make it out there, at least he can say he tried and went for it, which is something I can never say. My realistic dream was to become a teacher (which, in this state, I wish I would have picked a different dream because teachers are being laid off left and right, and it's next to impossible to get a job in a decent district). My REAL dream was to be a famous author of fiction novels. I have had so many concepts for stories in my head, and I have been told by many teachers and peers throughout my life that I have what it takes to sell a book, but I never tried. I have sat at the computer for hours typing up these great stories, but as soon as I hit a block, I never go back. I don't try hard enough because I don't have the patience, and these days, hardly the time. I guess that's why I blog, just so I can get some thoughts out...even if they're about my simple life and really not creative. Maybe some day I'll get back into it and get my name out there. I'm also just really afraid of rejection. I mean, nobody likes to be rejected, but I have this unresolved anxiety about making people happy. I aim to please because I constantly feel the need to be accepted by my friends and family. I also contradict myself because while I aim to please, I don't care what "outsiders" think of me. If you're not my friend or a member in my family, and you have something negative to say about me, I could care less. But if you actually do know me, and you say something negative to me/about me, I take it very personally and get over-emotional. And I know why I am like this, but I'm not going to delve into that on here. I know myself all too well, and I know where my issues come from, so I will never need to see a therapist. :p
Wow, I went off on this crazy tangent yet again...sorry. What I was saying before that rant was I'm not sure how I feel about my friend leaving. As I said, I'm happy for him and I'm glad he's doing this for himself, but I'm hoping my small circle of friends doesn't fall apart. I know we all have to grow up and move on at some point, but does it have to be right now? I got married and had a baby, but I ALWAYS have time for my friends and I am fortunate enough to still have a very active social life. I guess I always looked at myself as being the only true "grown up" in my group, and relied on my boys to just stay as they are forever. Incredibly selfish and kinda bitchy, believe me, I know. I just love how we are with each other. We have had some great times together, and I'm just worried that because this one friend is moving on, the rest will too and then we'll all lose touch, never hang out again, then I'll become one of those parents who has no friends. Mark and I always talk about that...how we don't want to get older without friends around. Sometimes you just need that little break from life...no spouse, no kids, no family issues to just be with your friends. Even if it's just out for a quick lunch or something. I look at my mom and see how she's just content with being inside watching movies on Demand...that may work for her, but I need more than that in my life. I can remember my mom at my age having game nights with her friends and going out at night on weekends...but now she doesn't do that. I know that nothing lasts forever, but with this particular group of friends, my one wish is that we always make time for game night or dinner somewhere. I love them with all my heart, and every time I try to remember how my time was spent before I met them, I can't picture it. I know parties and outings happened with different people once, and I guess those were good times, too, but they pale in comparison to what my life is with this group. I'd like to believe that deep down, they feel this way too, but who knows. We're all kind of drifting, so maybe they don't. I only really hang out with one of them any more, so at least i still have him! One works so much, he doesn't have much time for sleep let alone his friends, but he sees us when he can. The other...well, he and I drifted a long time ago but I still hold him close to my heart and consider him as one of my best friends. I guess we'll see where life takes us over the next couple of months when our California-bound friend has been gone for a while. Friendsgiving sure as hell won't be the same...if we even still do it this year :(

Alright, this is getting me all depressed now, and I have to get Chase ready to go to her Mimi's house so that Mark and I can catch a movie and lunch with my cousin and friend.
So here's to you, MK. You know I love you and I'm sorry for the mistakes I have made and the times I have taken our friendship for granted. I wish you nothing but the best. I look forward to our last party on the 4th. With love always,
Me.

My top 5 favorite T.V Moms

So I've been wanting to write this entry for some time, but I had a hard time figuring out who is worthy of this list. There are far too many t.v shows to weed through to pick out the "best" moms. I mostly compiled this list from memory, and it contains, I guess what would be considered "modern" moms, as the shows I have chosen are from the 80s or later. Now remember, this is my opinion, and I welcome you all to comment with your list of Top 5 T.V Moms if you so desire.


At number 5 we have Jill Taylor of Home Improvement. I chose Jill because I always enjoyed watching her relationship with Tim and her boys. I always felt that their relationship was well written in the sense that it came off quite real. The chemistry between the actors was great. Tim and Jill were far from being the "perfect" couple. They had many arguments, but always managed to make up in the end. Their fights as a married couple were fairly easy to relate to, and nothing was too extreme.  As a married woman myself, I can watch reruns of this show and appreciate the playful name calling or teasing that took place between Jill and Tim, because that's pretty much how Mark and I are. We're always making fun of each other or calling each other names, but it's all in good fun. We would never intentionally put one another down, and our fights usually end in a laugh. I also like Jill because of her parenting skills. Her relationship with her 3 boys was written in a way that was believable to the audience. Her boys respect her, but they of course find her to be "uncool" at times. However, they listen to her when she tells them to do something, and when they screw up, they're grounded or given chores to do, which are realistic childhood punishments that kids and parents can relate to. I have seen numerous t.v shows where the parent would say something like, "You snuck out of the house, you're grounded for 1 month, and no t.v./phone." Just for sneaking out of the house? Come on. If Chase ever sneaks out of the house, yeah, she'll be disciplined, but I used to sneak out of the house ALL the time! I can't be too much of a hypocrite. So long as she's not doing anything horrible when she sneaks out, I think a firm talking to, and a warning would suffice. All I did when I snuck out was go off with my best friend and her friends to a local diner that's open 24/7. Or one time I snuck out and saw a late movie. OOOH Such a bad kid! So anyway, I like Jill because she's a working mom, a loving wife who puts up with her husband's crap and disastrous "home improvements", and she's a mother of 3 boys, which I imagine is not an easy job. I felt she deserved a spot on this list. So here's to you, Jill Taylor.

Coming in at number 4, we have the coffee guzzling, Metallica loving, quick-witted "cool" mom, Lorelai Gilmore. It's really no surprise that she made it to my list, since I have been a fan of the show Gilmore Girls (minus season 7, which was the last season, and it sucked). Anyway, Lorelai deserves a place on this list, and here's why: Even if you're not a fan of the show itself, it does have a good concept and aside from the quirky pop-culture references strewn across the script, there's an underlying message about teen moms. Lorelai gave birth to her daughter Rory when she was only 16 years old. She stayed with her wealthy parents for the first year or so of Rory's life, then decided to bail. She already wasn't living up to her parents' expectations (She didn't want to settle and marry Rory's father at such a young age, and she didn't want him to put his dreams on hold to take the easy way out by going to work for her father's company.) She also had dreams of her own, and thus decided to run away with Rory to a small town in her state. Since she was young, a high school drop out, and had a baby to take care of, she took a job working as a maid at a local Inn. She took up residence in an unused shed behind the inn and fixed it up to make it livable. Eventually, she made enough money to buy an actual 2 bedroom home in a nice neighborhood, and she worked her way up as the manager of the Inn. Eventually, she came to open her very own inn. I have a lot of respect for this character, because she's developed in a way that makes her realistic to viewers who, undoubtedly, can relate. She is a single mother who worked her ass off to provide for her daughter. She does not bring a ton of men in and out of her/her daughter's life. She's very responsible, nurturing, and always puts her daughter first. Everything she does in life is for her child. The relationship she has with Rory is almost perfect, but not so perfect to make it unrealistic. They have a handful of serious fights, but eventually move past them. As the seasons went on, I got kind of annoyed with the show, but looking back now, I can appreciate what they were trying to do. In the episode where Rory convinces her super-rich boyfriend to steal a yacht with her (she was trying to prove she's not always this uptight, school nerd or some shit like that, I forget), she ends up getting arrested. Lorelai finds it kind of amusing, and doesn't get overly upset, since Rory was 20 years old at this point, and she had NEVER been in trouble like this before. She makes some cracks about Rory's mug shot. Later on, Rory sits Lorelai down and tells her she is going to be taking time off from Yale (where she's a 3rd year student). The whole incident with the yacht and pressure that Rory has been feeling, leads her to this ridiculous decision. Lorelai is shocked by this, and basically disowns Rory until she gets her shit together. I like the way this part of the show is written because it shows that Rory is pretty much crapping all over everything she and her mom worked so hard for (it wasn't an easy task sending Rory to Yale, there were financial struggles, blah blah blah). Lorelai does what I think most moms would do, and flips out about this situation. Her one perfect relationship with Rory takes a long time to heal (a whole season, as a matter of fact). I like that they made it take a while for the two women to move past this huge fight because to me, I think that's how it would really be. I'd like to believe that my mom and I have a very Lorelai/Roryesque relationship, so I took this show to heart, and I still catch myself watching it in reruns from time to time.
At number 3 we have Mrs. Claire Huxtable. She's a career mom who is well respected by her family. She's the mother of 5 children and the wife of a successful OB/GYN.  She and her husband are hardworking, loving people. While they make a great living between the two of them, their kids are not spoiled, rich brats. Claire and Cliff make sure to teach their children about respect and the value of a dollar. Education in the Huxtable household is the most important thing in life next to family. I like Mrs. Huxtable because while she is sweet, knows how to have fun, and can show her "cool mom" side, she's also tough, and doesn't take BS from anyone. I specifically recall the episode of the Cosby Show where Vanessa is caught in a lie about something or other, and Claire really blows up at her. She's so furious and disappointed by Vanessa's actions, that she tells her she doesn't even want to hear it and screams at her to go upstairs to her room. This episode stands out because most of the episodes of the Cosby Show don't portray such drama. For the most part it's all, "We love our lives and our family, everything is sunshine and rainbows." Come to think of it...what even happens on The Cosby Show? I can't pick out any thing that makes me say, "Wow, what a powerful episode." But anyway, Claire is ordinarily this loving mom, but seeing her really lay into Vanessa shows that even the "best" moms know when to lay down the law. (ha...get it? 'Cause she's a lawyer.)

Ok movin' on. Coming in at number 2, we have the radiant Mrs. Kitty Foreman from That 70s Show. Kitty is just all around awesome. She's the peacemaker in her family, always explaining Red to Eric and Eric to Red, trying to save the father-son relationship. She loves to cook to please her family, and she also loves to entertain. I always viewed Kitty as the "Fun, outgoing" mom. She's the kind of mom I'd like to be, in a sense. She treats all of Eric's friends as her own children. She's always feeding them, giving them advice, helping them out when they need a mother-figure. She's a great mom and wife.  I love how when things get too stressful, Kitty just laughs her famous laugh and knocks back a nice-sized martini. If I had a drink in my hand right now, I'd toast to you, Kitty Foreman. You are definitely perfect for the number 2 spot on my list.

Last but certainly not least, coming in at number 1 I have chosen the one, the ONLY Mrs. Roseanne Conner.
Now, I know exactly what a lot of you are thinking. "Ew, Roseanne?" "Why?" "Ugh, her voice is so irritating." Yeah, yeah. But have you ever actually watched the show? If you have, and if you have any brains in your head at all, you would be able to appreciate the writing on this show. In my honest opinion, this is the one sitcom to ever portray REAL family issues in the most realistic way possible. For it's time, this was a very highly rated show. People all over were able to relate to the Conner family, and the jokes on this show were just amazing. Roseanne is a working mom, who goes from job to job trying desperately to help her husband make ends meet. They have 3 (later on in the series, 4) children. The sibling rivalry on this show is brilliant, and the way Roseanne and Dan parent these kids is right on with reality. The show is very smart, very funny, and Roseanne is definitely a top notch t.v. mom. She's quick on her feet, she's witty, she works hard, her family is always her number 1 priority, she has a good relationship with her kids, but never oversteps the friend boundary. She's a mother first, and she doesn't hesitate to shell out consequences for misbehavior. Something I do enjoy about the show is how it starts off being completely realistic in the first few seasons, but then as the years go on, the storyline becomes more obscure. WARNING: I am about to give a shit ton of spoilers, but I think that's ok, because if you've never followed Roseanne, chances are, you're not about to load it up on Netflix and get in to it now in 2011. (But you should). Anyway, so things take a turn for the better in the Conner family. They hit the lottery and win all kinds of money, redecorate their house, take a big vacation to Disney World, and things just get a little far-fetched. It's not until the series finale you find out that Roseanne, who has always been a writer at heart (before marrying Dan and starting a family, she had dreams of being a famous writer for a magazine, and she had dreams of selling books, too. Several episodes throughout the series bring up this fact) was simply writing a story of her life and how she wished it could have been. The Conners never hit the lottery, Darlene was the one who was married to Mark, and Becky with David instead of it being the other way around. In the episode where Darlene and David get married, Dan suffers a heart attack. He ends up being ok, and going on to live out his life. However, in the series finale, it is revealed through Roseanne's writing that Dan actually died that day. The finale is actually quite heartbreaking, but brings back the realism that the show always possessed. Here, the whole show was supposedly just one big story written by Roseanne Conner. She wrote things as she saw them, not how they truly were. She sort of lived in her head, which I think is genius. One could argue that this is too much like all of those shows/movies where something terrible happens, then the character wakes up and we find it was all just a dream. Maybe it is sort of like that, but it was done tastefully and it wasn't entirely a big, "fuck you" to the fans because this ending really worked for the show. I am currently rewatching the whole series on Netflix, and if you really pay attention, they almost build you up for such an ending. They keep bringing up the fact that Roseanne is a talented writer, and they make comments about how she should really get back in to it, and in one episode, she does. Why else would they continuously mention this gift of hers, if it had nothing else to do with the show other than just being her hobby? Exactly. So hats off to you, Roseanne Conner. The funniest, craziest, most diligent, and most importantly, most realistic mother to ever be on t.v.

NKOTBSB OMG!!! LOLZ

us with Sean Cunningham.

This was seriously one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. On Friday, Mark, Chase, and I went out shopping, then spent the rest of the day at Longwood Gardens. (www.longwoodgardens.org) check it out if you're unfamiliar. We walked around, took in the sites, then grabbed some food at the cafe. It was a really nice family outing, and the weather was perfect.
Saturday was an even better day. My cousin Jeff, aka (TP, short for Total Package) came over at 10am, and the 4 of us hit the road and spent the entire day in Baltimore. We got there a little before noon and went to the Mariott for Monster Mania. (www.monstermania.net). Monster Mania is a horror movie convention where you can meet the stars of horror flicks, watch movies, and buy lots of cool merchandise. We met Kane Hodder and Sean Cunningham (Kane Hodder was Jason Vorhees in Friday the 13th VII, VIII, IX, and X) and Sean Cunningham created the series. Chase loved Sean Cunningham. She kept grabbing his beard and trying to go to him. He was very nice and he kept talking to Chase and telling her how pretty she is. It was pretty awesome.
After talking with Sean, we were going to go wander around the vendors room to buy some cool stuff, when this actress called us over. She was like, "I have to say hi to this beautiful baby! Bring her over!" The actress was in Friday the 13th VIII (which isn't the best movie, but that's ok, she was really sweet). She asked if she could take a picture with Chase! Chase's t-shirt said "Camp Crystal Lake, Final Girl in Training" and all the Friday the 13th stars loved it. The actress from VIII said Chase has everything it takes to be the "final girl." It was a adorable. Here's the pic:

After that we bought some cool plushies. We got Chase a rainbow Cthulhu and we got a stuffed Jason Vorhees and Trick or Treater from the movie Trick 'R Treat. When we finished up at the convention, we headed over to the Baltimore Inner Harbor where we watched some awesome breakdancing street performers. They were very talented, and with the added comedy from the host, the show was more entertaining than we could have expected. We wandered around for a while, then had dinner at the Hardrock Cafe. We finished up the day with a little browsing in some stores, and had dessert at the Marble Slab (which is a really good ice cream place). Chase was SO good all day. She didn't fuss or cry once, and we were gone all day. We got home around 9pm. She slept great when we got home, too. I always laugh when people insist that "we don't know what kind of baby Chase will be in another few months." They've been saying this since she was born. She's been a great sleeper and an all around happy baby literally since day 1. She's now 7 months old, is TEETHING, and she doesn't fuss about it. She just chews the crap out of everything. 2 teeth are currently breaking through, and normally at this phase, (most) babies are cranky and don't sleep well. Chase is the complete opposite. If I can spend 2 days entirely out of the house with a teething baby, I think that proves that she's never going to change her ways. She's actually napping right now after sleeping from 9pm-6:30am without waking up once.
So Friday and Saturday were really fun, but Sunday...that was just, dare I say, "epic?" (I hate the word "epic" and I hate when people throw it around as an adjective for EVERYTHING. "That show was epic." "That movie was so epic." "I fell yesterday. Epic fail.") Really? Shut the fuck up. Anyway, Sunday night was frickin' awesome. My friend Ed, my aunt, cousin, and I went to the New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys concert. Ed and I had a great view, but were a little high up. Not nose-bleed, but enough to make us feel a little uneasy because we don't like heights. After getting settled in our seats, we were fine, it was just that initial climb that has us on edge. As the ticket promised, the show began at 7:30pm. I wasn't sure if there was going to be an opening act, or if New Kids were the headliner and BSB were the opener...we had no idea what to expect. So out comes this DJ and he's all "What's up Philly?! How you guys doin' ta-night?" and all that nonsense, then he told us to "make some noise for Ashlyne!" and Ed and I were like, "Um...who?" So out comes this total butterface (you know, everything looks good but her face) and she's wearing this sequin bathingsuit-like ensemble and she sings like Minnie Mouse on crack. It was God-awful. The choreographer was good, but overall, that performance was wiggity whack, and the DJ was completely unnecessary. Ashlyne is this upcoming "artist" with an album coming out this month, but I don't think she'll be around long. I thought Kesha was a trainwreck, this Ashlyne...ugh. All of her songs sounded exactly the same. Thank God she only performed for 15 minutes before the REAL opening act came on. I was pleasantly surprised that Jordan Sparx was the opener. I actually really enjoy her music, and when she was on American Idol, I rooted for her the whole time. She sang beautifully and looked fantastic last night. She put on a good opening act. About 20 minutes or so after Jordan left the stage, NKOTBSB made their grand entrance. All 9 guys were on the stage at the same time, it was every former teeny bopper's wet dream. After their opening song, they basically took turns being on stage to perform, which was awesome because we got to experience both boy bands simultaneously. But you know, as much as I loved every minute of their performances, and don't get me wrong, I was singing along at the top of my lungs, I couldn't help but think how sad this was at the same time. Think about it, the guys of New Kids were teens in the 80s. Donnie was what, 15 when he was discovered and recruited for the group in 1984. He still looks good, but come on, do you really want to be in a boy band when you're in your 40s?! Danny Wood was looking old as shit, too. BSB are also getting up there in age, before you know it, we'll have former teeny boppers throwing their denchers on stage instead of panties. Instead of doing fancy dance moves, the boy bands will be hobbling around with walkers and doing some sweet spins in their hover-rounds. How old do you have to be before they stop calling you a "boy band?" Kudos for still making music, and I probably will hit up the next tour for nostalgic purposes, but when you're in your 40s and still considered a boy band and DRESSING like you're a boy band still in your teens, it is pretty sad. But MOST of the guys still looked and sounded great, and it was a good time...so...I'll leave it at that. I have realized that I am still a teeny bopper at heart, and I will probably always be this way. I still hold Hanson, New Kids, BSB, Spice Girls, etc. close to me, as their music played a hefty role in my childhood/early teens. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go on a hunt for my BSB cds. I know they're in this house somewhere...

Responsibilty, what's that?

I have come to the obvious conclusion that people are like a pair of dice. We all have different sides, and depending on how we are "rolled" in a situation, that's the number (or side) we show. Some of us have sides that we keep hidden from our family and friends. Some of us let all these sides show, although it could take years for certain ones to be seen. As I grow older, I'm realizing more and more how many of my "friends" have these different sides, that I was too naive to see before. Some friends have changed for the better, some I contemplate deleting from my Facebook, thus inevitably deleting them from my life (because let's face it, if it weren't for the social networks, more than half of us wouldn't have kept in touch...no matter how close we were in the past). It's not that simple to just cut someone completely out. Maybe to some people it is, but not to me. I hold on to things/people longer than I probably should. I know that whole cliche saying about how people are meant to come in to your life to love you, hurt you, blah blah blah. My problem is, I dwell on things too much and for too long. This would be one of my sides. The side that loves, attaches, gives too much, then gets left standing in a lonely cloud of dust wondering what I did wrong to make people leave or mistreat, and take my friendship for granted. This side has been here for years. Lately I have been discovering a new side, however. A side that says, "Fuck these people." And you know what? I like this side. I'm not going to go out of my way for people any more when they don't acknowledge or appreciate it.
Along with this new side of mine, I have realized a few others. There's my immature side...the 13 year old version of myself that still blares Hanson and Backstreet Boys music, sings all the lyrics at the top of my lungs, likes to throw silly themed parties and hand out childish favors. The one that watches hours and hours of Dawson's Creek or Full House episodes, and orders toys I owned in the 90s off of Ebay. (Total waste of money, but worth it for sheer nostalgic purposes...and I only ordered a few dolls...) whatever, shut up, Chase can play with them when she's older. GOD! Must you question everything I do?
Anyway, let's sum up this portion of the entry but briefly mentioning the rest of my new found sides, shall we? I have the wife side. She's mature, she takes care of things, tracks down missing keys and shoes. She makes the bed, cleans the house, does the laundry. She makes plans on behalf of her husband with family and friends. She cooks, and she's damn good at it. Sometimes, admittedly, she feels trapped, but she loves her life and wouldn't trade it. She's a mother, too. And the mommy side is in a whole different world entirely. It's tiring, it's emotional, it's amazing, it's fun, it's frustrating, it's rewarding, it's knowing that you did something completely right and feeling your heart just melt and your body turn into a puddle of mush the moment that baby smiles at you for the first time, and that every time the baby smiles and laughs and learns something new, you feel that mush moment all over again just like the first time. It's the best side a woman could have and it's my favorite.
Alright, I think this part of the blog has become gooey enough, so let's abruptly change the topic.
Plus, I think I overused the word "side", so stop with thiiis.
The housewife part of my die has a lot of work to do today. With the holiday weekend, I let chores fall by the wayside, and my laundry has been piling up for weeks. I have been up since 7:30am and have only done one load of laundry so far because 13 year old me said, "I don't wanna do my chores, I wanna watch season 4 of Dawson's Creek!" But I suppose I should get to work, I mean the baby is napping, so this would be the opportune moment. That, and I just finished the last episode on disc 2 of Dawson. I suppose the mature thing to do would be not to pop in disc 3 right now. We'll just have to  see which side is rolled...

Till next time.

Blarg

This week has been nothing but stress, and anger, and it just...it makes me...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I've been ignoring my phone, and trying not to comment on status updates on Facebook because I fear I may say something that I don't mean just out of sheer annoyance at the world. It's just one of those weeks where stupid, little things keep going wrong, but they're just adding up to really piss me off. The pathetic thing is, I can't even pinpoint any one specific thing. It's just...one of "those" weeks. I was especially pissed off today. I was up 4 oz. when I got on the scale at my weigh in, and while that's really nothing, it still made me mad because I'm supposed to be in control of this thing. But this week, frankly my dear, I just didn't give a damn. Or a fuck. Or a shit. (I love adding unnecessary swear words in to sentences). I haven't gotten much sleep, and not because of Chase, I just because I couldn't sleep. Mark and I have this deal that when he comes home from work in the morning, he's supposed to take the baby for an hour or 2 so I can catch up on sleep. However, in the past week and a half, he hasn't even offered to take her. He was off yesterday, and he slept for like, 13 hours. He came home this morning and crashed on the couch, and didn't take Chase till I came downstairs ranting and raving about how I was lacking sleep and the least he could do was take his daughter so I could sleep for a little bit longer. I also  had my weigh in and whatnot today, so I was out for like, an hour. I was expecting my new phone to come via FedEx, so I asked Mark if he could sign for it if it came while I was out. He parked himself on the couch with the dogs, so that he would be sure to wake up and answer the door if he fell asleep. Sure enough, I came home, and there was a FedEx notice on the door indicating that nobody was there to sign for the package, so it will be here tomorrow instead by 3pm. I was livid. Normally, shit like this doesn't get to me. I've missed packages plenty of times, and they always came first thing the next day, but this incident was basically the last straw. I was really looking forward to getting that phone today and I considered it to be a big highlight for my week. But when I came home and realized I couldn't even count on Mark to answer the frickin' door, I just lost it. I know, it's dumb, but we all have our breaking points, and this was mine. Mark apologized and we made up, and all is well, but I can't help the small amount of agitation I still feel. Also, I say "but" a lot. Forgive me, I type as if I were speaking, so this is just how my thoughts come out. No editing, a slew of grammatical and spelling errors...all for your enjoyment. I just can't wait to go back to work so that I don't have to deal with this crap any more. I'm just tired of the same mundane routine. I have gained even more respect for permanent housewives (REAL ones) who do this day in and day out until their kids are grown. I've been doing this for approximately 1 year and 4 months, and I am so over it. I don't care what anyone says, being a housewife is more difficult than your typical 9-5 job. True story.